When VICE asks you parenting advice! - May 8, 2016

Recently VICE sought out Parenting Advice from Real-Life Porn Star MILFS featuring myself and 8 other super cool Porn Stars.

It’s a super fun read and I learned some cool shit from it too! Thanks moms!

I wanted to post the unedited version of my answer in case any of you were interested to read the in-depth of my answer because I had a lot of fun writing it and wanted to share!

 

If I could offer any parenting advice it would be ___________.

It’s sort of a tie between the following two ideas. They are both things that resonate deeply for me on both intellectual and emotional levels and I have found them both to be helpful and reassuring in the moments I doubt myself for taking a path less traveled. Of course, this is simply my truth, not THE truth nor do I have any invested interest in anyone thinking like me but if my thoughts resonate or spark something within anyone else, then that’s super cool… First my advice would be to not let strangers, friends, family, society, even your own parents make you feel that you need to be conventional in order to be a good parent.

I get a lot of different reactions and the questions that accompany them to working in the adult industry and also being a mom, as if the two could not exist simultaneously. My childhood best friend & I happened to get pregnant within a few months of each other. Within a couple months of becoming pregnant, the baby Daddy and I flew to his hometown in Normandie, France to get married, then flew back to my hometown in North County San Diego after having lived nomadically for the 7-8 years previous. I was so excited to experience this adventure in the same town with my longest friend. Parenthood does funny things to people.

Shortly after arriving back home, we met up to have a conversation. One I requested to have in person after she had emailed me to let me know that if I continued to webcam while I was pregnant, she would be unable to continue any kind of a friendship. As devastating and hurtful as it was, I had to accept her right to decide what kind of people are going to be in her child’s life and if she felt that I posed a certain lack of moral integrity by in her words, “exploiting my unborn baby in order to make money”, then it was what it was. I was congruent and didn’t see anything wrong with webcamming while I was pregnant.

Surely I was still going to jerk off anyway and goodness knows I was out of my mind crazy horny… why not channel this into a financially beneficial outlet for this new sexual energy? I felt sexy! I felt like celebrating my body and what wonderful things it could do. The many various wonderful things it could do! Create life, have mind-blowing orgasms. Even butt sex became more magical as if that were even possible! But to suddenly view sexuality as something to be ashamed of is an unfortunate side effect of the Madonna-Whore complex. As if the moment I became pregnant, I was supposed to stop being me and become Mother Theresa, taking on “Mom” as my entire identity as opposed to simply adding it to the inventory of roles that make up my identity. It’s as if once you become a mom, people want you to denounce the very thing that made it possible for your child to exist. No more pleasure, no more you, now you are here only as a means to and end for your child.

Deciding to take a break from shooting actual porn, I focused my energy on the areas within the adult industry I could still be working in. It will always be too easy for people to pass judgements on the way you decide to live your life, especially if you live your life in an unconventional way. Far too often do people say, “Oh no! That’s not the way it’s supposed to be done!” or “We’ve always done it this way, if it ain’t broken don’t fix it.”

I recently got a tattoo I had been wanting for awhile. It’s a big pink butt plug wearing a bandana with a banner dead and center reading, “Plug Life”. It’s fairly visible if I’m wearing shorts, located on the front of my leg underneath my hip bone. My mom said to me “I’ve ruined my daughter’s life forever. What will her teachers think? What will other parents think?” Any adversity my daughter faces due to the choices I have made such as a profession in porn, or even a tattoo of a butt plug will only present opportunities for her and I to learn about ourselves and grow in the process. I’d rather show my daughter how to live from a place of love than a place of fear. And that starts with living my life how I decide is best for me (and subsequently her as well), rather than let the beliefs of others decide my path for me.

My second piece of advice is to be a conscious parent. Don’t lose yourself trying to control your child’s journey mistaking it for your own. Learn to balance the continuous discovery of who you are while being there as a teacher and support system for your kid(s). Being a student will never stop nor will it make you any less of a teacher, so embrace both. The polarity of the two create a healthy natural balance. My daughter is two and it’s my first go, so I’m still a padawan. I don’t want my daughter to grow up with the illusion that I am supreme and my word is “god”. I see it as a two way street. She’s going to learn lessons from me always, and I’ll learn all sorts of stuff from her too. I see our relationship like any other relationship I have in life. A total two way street in which the more I invest, the bigger the return I can expect to have. I think I have a responsibility to her to apply myself 110% because I chose to bring her into this world, but I also owe it to myself. What do I want to get out of it? I find when I do things with my daughter and I am fully present, she seems to give me the best version of herself in gratitude, and in such appreciation for her effort, I give her back the same. I don’t see the word “parent” as a synonym for “ruler” or “monarch” or “boss lady”. Ultimately, I think parenting isn’t about creating a mini version of myself, or creating the person I wanted but failed to be. She is a completely whole person with her own personality and her own perceptual filters of reality. Even though she’s of me, she will still view the world from her own set of eyes. It’s not my job to judge or change who she is. It’s my job to create a safe space for her to explore and discover who she is and then help her develop the relevant tools she will need in order to survive and flourish in this world as the person she is. I don’t have any investment in her being anything other than herself and I’m excited I get to help her find out whoever it is she will end up becoming.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mommas and grandmommas and great grandmommas and great great grandmommas! And if there are any great great great grandmommas alive out there, then wow… I wanna shake your hand!

 

 

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sparky Sin Claire @ 11:20 am

Would you like to get to know me personally??? - September 17, 2015

cs_insta_Sparky_Sin_Claire_free

Screen Shot 2015-09-05 at 1.11.31 AM          Hey guys! Have you ever watched my porn or    followed me via social media and thought, “Man…    her and I would get along, I wish I could just text    her!” or saw me post about my new additions to my    Star Wars collection and wish you had a hot, sexually  liberated, non judgmental, little cock slut to get dirty  with and then get into a deep conversation about Star Wars?

The world is your oyster when it comes to me. We can talk about everything from your second aunts mole that you can’t look at without breaking out into a series of panicky hot flashes…. or we could exchange pictures of our Star Wars collections to compare who is the ultimate Star Wars nerd…. I could talk you through you deepest, darkest, fantasy…. there is almost nothing I won’t talk about (so far the only hard limit is racism… I’m just not convincing when I call you “nigger”…. I am audibly sound so uncomfortable, you’ll be disappointed)…..

No judgement here and I’m confident I can connect with any side(s) of yourself that you want to share with me.

Not only can we do nerdy things, and sexy things…. I can offer professionalPhoto on 9-5-15 at 12.48 AM #2 “pick-up” and dating advice as someone who started off as a student studying both picking up woman as well as….men (haha, that’s a half joke half serious statement) and eventually started teaching less “pick up Mystery Neil Strauss David D’Angelo Barry Kirkey The Game” manipulative bullshit… but how to approach meeting women like A REGULAR FUCKING HUMAN BEING.

 

 

Does any of this sound like fun to you? If so, it would be my pleasure to get to know you and develop a cool connection on whatever level you desire.

 

cs_insta_Sparky_Sin_Claire_free

Vote for Sparky Sin Claire for the Adult Webcam Awards!!!! - August 5, 2015

Sparky Sin Claire’s Adult Webcam Awards Nominee Page

adult-cam-awards Best-live-anal-sex-show Best-live-oral-sex-show-nominee

 

 

Please take less than a minute of your time to show me your support by voting for me for Best Live Anal Performer and Best Live Oral Performer for the Adult Webcam Awards!!!!!


Click this link to vote for Sparky Sin Claire on her Nominee Page for the Adult Webcam Awards!

There is a button you can click to vote for me at the bottom of my nominee page. Or you can Facebook comment section underneath that. If you leave me a comment, that counts as a vote! If you leave a comment, come into my cam chat when I am broadcasting LIVE and tell me which comment was yours and I will give you a free “credit” to use for a request I would only fulfill for a tip or in private!!!!

You can view my cam here… http://sparkysinclaire.cammodels.com PLEASE ONLY USE THIS LINK WHEN VISITING ME ON CAM. ADD ME TO YOUR FAVORITES TO GET NOTIFIED WHEN I AM BROADCASTING!!!

Thanks guys, you support truly means a lot to me!

xoxoxoxoxoxo Sparkle Nuts

 

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sparky Sin Claire @ 6:22 am

Writing…. - June 15, 2015

It’s been almost a year and a half since my last post. Since then, I have given birth and my baby girl is now a year and 4 months old. I have lost 65 of the 75 lbs I gained during pregnancy. Moved to a beautiful apartment of my own where my daughter can finally have her own room (and so can I)!!!! Taken trips to Montreal, CA and roadtripped up the coast to Washington. I’ve started webcamming regularly, my libido is back and it’s higher than ever before. I anticipate shooting porn again…. I can’t wait. I just don’t want to come back before I know for certain it is time and I am comfortable with all the ways in which my body has changed since pregnancy & post-pregnancy.

I don’t even know where to begin. There is just…. SO MUCH.

I’m going to shower now, because that’s how I re-birth myself every day…. but I just needed to post for you, but actually just needed to post for myself, no matter how lame or short or inarticulate it may be, that it’s time to start writing. Too many signs, too many slaps in the face from the universe lately to help me realize that it’s too easy to make excuses for the rest of your life to do something with it. It’s too easy to organize your teeth collection or scrub the grout that holds the tiles together in the kitchen floor with a toothbrush. But at the end of the day, I make the choice to have ignored something deep within me. Not just the desire, but the NEED to experience things that most people would be too afraid to, to extract the truth from those experiences and then share them with whoever wants to read about it. It’s the most pure and honest avenue I have come up with to make use of my lack of shame and my burning desire to make myself completely vulnerable to the world and bare it all, not just in porn with my physical body but to strip my mind of all it’s layers and masks and deep hidden away caverns… perhaps I’ll hang on to a few of those for now. I still need a hiding place or two.

This blog is re-opened for business.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sparky Sin Claire @ 12:15 pm

GUESS MY BIRTHING DATE CONTEST!!!!! - February 2, 2014

IMG_0037

My family and I decided it would be a fun game to make a game out of guessing the date I’ll end up giving birth on as well as the day of the week. So I thought I would include all of you in on it too.

You guys have seen me go through the whole process of finding out I was pregnant, to now 9 months later, finally approaching the big day!

So here’s the deal:

I’ve spent all my money preparing for the baby and after I give birth will be left with a wardrobe of maternity clothes and pre-preggo clothes that will take me months of hard work to fit back into.

With the passing of my father a few days ago, I no longer have insurance as I was on his. This leaves me with picking up the bill for the remaining few doctor’s appt. I have, as well as labor and delivery fees which can be astronomical.

These gift certificates will help me SO MUCH be able to afford some new clothes that fit after the baby is born. This will really help me feel so much more comfortable as I’m rediscovering my body after pregnancy. Having clothes that fit well and are comfortable is so important for a new mother’s self-esteem. Now I have boobs and I actually need to buy bras!

IF YOU WIN:
If you WIN! you will get a skype show with the length depending on the amount of the gift certificate you purchased. I will also send you a personalized thank you card signed by yours truly.

TO GUESS THE DATE:
To enter the contest, I will accept gift certificate/email codes for amounts of $25, $50, $75 & $100.
If you’d like to guess two dates, two gift certificates will need to be purchased.

$25 – 10 min.
$50 – 20 min.
$75 – 30 min.
$100 – 40 min

TO GUESS THE DAY OF THE WEEK:

I will accept gift certificates for $75 (prize of 30 min. Skype) & $100 (prize of a 40 min Skype).

Send the gift certificate code to the following email: sparkysinclaire@hotmail.com . After you’ve done this, email me and let me know what date you think I will give birth or the day of the week, and ENTER AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT TO INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING!!!! It will be sometime in February!

I will accept gift certificates from the following places:

Target.com
Forever21.com
H&M.com
Crossroads.com

TO ANYONE WHO PARTICIPATES regardless of whether you win, will get a 5 min. skype chat with me and a personalized THANK YOU card signed by me :).

 

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sparky Sin Claire @ 7:03 pm

Pictures from 16 yr old film! - June 19, 2013

My phone was being really shitty at the time and wasn’t able to take/save anymore pictures (later found out it wasn’t the phone, just the SD card I ended up replacing for like $10). Oh how simple things are sometimes, and how oh so complicated the brain irrationally makes you believe they are. Anyway, I went to buy a disposable camera in the hotel that most of the passengers of the first Holy Ship were staying at the night before boarding. But there were none to be sold. Only two cameras, a 110mm panaramic kodak and a 135mm kodak w/ flash, each with a roll of film in yellow decrepit packaging. Not because bad handling… but yellowed purely by age as the panaramic was from 1992, (consequently that roll was sent back unable to be developed due to outdated film) and the other “reg” 135mm film that was only 16 years old as opposed to other’s 21 year old film… and I picked that up today. 19 of the 34 came out and I thought that I had a lot of luck with the photos. Some were distorted in color or looked cut off with the 1/4 of another photo but I was hoping that would happen. I like the unpredictability of old age. It’s an added exciting element to the whole film developing, non-digital, non-instant gratification process.

Enjoy!

Image001_N1 Image003_N3 Image014_N14

Image000_N0 Image002_N2 Image004_N4

     Image005_N5 Image006_N6 Image007_N7 Image012_N12 Image013_N13 Image009_N9  Image010_N10 Image015_N15 Image016_N16 Image011_N11 Image017_N17 Image018_N18

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sparky Sin Claire @ 1:04 am

Evolution of my Wifey & I Since We First Met! - June 17, 2013

Thought these turned out so interesting. I really see how much I’ve changed when I put the pictures next to each other!

tumblr_moggxdoSwC1qezjzro1_1280

tumblr_moggxdoSwC1qezjzro2_1280

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sparky Sin Claire @ 4:50 pm

Prof creepin on me, creepin on him. - June 12, 2013

Miss this guy & his partner in crime Fundo Butthead McGee! They are good people.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , — Sparky Sin Claire @ 11:43 pm

Are we really overweight or are us woman just fucking insane? - May 25, 2013

For some reason my goddamned “Home Shared” application isn’t working properly, because when I turn the option on my iPad to access “Free Bird’s Library”, the name of my iTunes account on my laptop, only like 20 albums of hundreds show up.

Music is IMPERATIVE for my camming enjoyment. It 100% makes or breaks the mood. This is proved when I’m fucking my ass in a show and my 300 song playlist on shuffle starts to play Billy Joel’s The Entertainer, and the guy jerking off types the ultimatum of me changing the song immediately or him leaving in horror.

So all my subscriptions of all the online music apps that are available in Canada are expired. WHY THE FUCK DOESN’T CANADA HAVE PANDORA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I never appreciated the value of pandora until I moved to Canada. One of the first things I do whenever I am back in the states is re-download pandora. I re-download it because when I’m in Canada and I see the P icon, I get fucking pissed I can’t use it so I fucking delete it.

That was a longwinded way of saying I was googling how much deezer was (I don’t mind paying a reasonable fee for a service I enjoy using, just like I don’t mind paying for music, supporting a good cause, participating in capitalism in the good way, etc.) and as I was typing “how much…. (is deezer)” the incidentally commonly searched phrase “how much should I weigh?” popped up.

It occurred to me I have never known whether I was an appropriate weight or not, and how I would even find out that information. Especially since I am overly critical of my body. I generalized the topic of this post because of all the people in the world I know, I’d guess 95% of my female friends have put their body down on several occasions and a generous 5% of males I’ve known have made a derogatory comment about theirs.

I know female performers in porn who have turned down work because they felt fat. I know women who don’t go out because they feel fat. I know a lot of women, including myself, who have done insane things because of the way they felt about their body.

So I found that it is very easy to calculate whether or not you are at an appropriate weight according to your height & weight. Obviously this is not the end all peace of mind answer to whether you should love your body or not. Everyone’s body is at where it’s at, so accepting that no matter the health or physical attractiveness indications, is the first step. And yes, while I may be at an appropriate weight, it certainly doesn’t necessarily make me happy with the way I look or determine whether I am healthy…. BUT I know that it did make me feel less out of control of my body and feel better about the state I’m in now.

Here’s how you do it…. Try it! You may be surprised with the results. Or at least it may help you gauge where to start if you feel you do need to do something about your weight, body image, physical health, emotional health, etc.

I’ll use my actual height and weight to show you the math.

Because the scales in Canada are in kilograms, I don’t need to convert this. But if you are in the states and weigh in pounds, then google convert however much you weigh in pounds to kilograms. The same goes for your height which you will need to convert from feet/inches to meters.

I weigh 57 kilograms = 127lbs. I am 5’3″ = 1.6 meters.

BMI (Body Mass Index), which is what determines whether you are at an approppriate weight, is found by dividing your weight in kg by the square of your height in meters.

To get the square of my height, so I know how much 57 is divided by, I multiply my height, 1.6 by the same number, 1.6, which equals 2.57. Then I divide my weight, 57kg by the square of my height, 2.57m, which equals my BMI, 22.18.

According to the medical website I was on, If your BMI is under 18, you are underweight. If your BMI is in between 18 & 25, you are at a normal weight, and if your BMI is in between 25 & 30, you’re classified as obese.

Hope this helped, in whatever way it may have.

Cheers!
Sparkles

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , — Sparky Sin Claire @ 10:22 pm

Last 5 shifts on KinkLive.com – February 02/18-02/21 - February 18, 2013

Last 5 KinkLive.com shifts until 9 months or so from now around October.

Monday 02/18: 7-10pm PST
Tuesday 02/19: 6-9pm PST
Wednesday 02/20: 12-3pm & 6-9pm PST
Thursday 02/21: 5-8pm PST

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sparky Sin Claire @ 8:04 am
Older Posts »

Copyright anyone, 2009.